It has been years since I was able to say “immediately” as a response to anything.
“When can you start?”
I am a creature of longevity. While working on my resume, I realized that my “relevant/recent” experience left me with only two jobs to detail; sales, and education. I have spent four years of my life in both a retail position, and a teaching position, six years of my life overall. During this time, I was also pursuing my degree in Dance, and learning how to be an outstanding citizen of these United States. I am so proud of my work experience, that it comes in years and not months. But in today’s age, I find myself asking; can one stay too long?
I’ve always admired the concept of longevity, and strived to embody it myself. I think longevity is a quality that our generation lacks. A grip of us grew up without much interference from technology. However, we still exhibit the signs of severe attention deficit disorder, especially when it comes to working hard for what we want.We had television as children, but in my experience, it was always expected that we get outside and “go do something,” or “go create something.” You can bet we did, because we didn’t buy our own food those days. I remember being in college and watching the “yolo” lifestyle snowball. “You only live once!” Emerging trends such as this one, changed our relationship with longevity. Constructive discomfort became an enemy; “Don’t put up with that, you only live once!”Stupidity was glorified; “Just try it, you only live once!”
Today, we can present a window of our talents in a mere sixty second video and receive the praise we’re looking for. No wonder it’s challenging to spend years creating something; perfecting a craft. And have you noticed that we are conditioned to seek affirmation from others? That is they way things are. It has been this way since fourth grade when we began learning about the bibliography. Hey guess what? You have no original thoughts. CITE EVERYTHING. “Where did you get this from? I’m not sure I believe you wrote this yourself.” Anything sound familiar? That kind of rhetoric can do a number on the developing brain. Look around, most of us are in our early twenties wondering “where is the initiative” to change our situation, to pursue the peak, to embrace the process; the reality that it will probably take years to get to where we see ourselves going. Perhaps, we haven’t believed in our abilities from the beginning. Maybe our initiative was diluted years ago when we discovered that our job was to gather and sow the thoughts of others, rather than grow our own.
I had fantastic teachers and mentors growing up. I was fortunate because my teachers did the best that they could with the nature of the education system. They worked overtime to make sure myself and my peers had a fighting chance to be successful. I know too well that this is not the case for everyone.
I’ve been hanging around in my early twenties for a while now. Still to this day, I struggle to be confident in my personal journey. I graduated college two years ago, I have the paper to prove I can complete something that is important to me. The reality is that there are no more deadlines that I can procrastinate against. There is no one to mark up my paper, to help me articulate my ideas. There is no one to remind me who I am, to give me feedback on my progress. There is nobody, but me. I was part of a college program that had all of these realities in mind for their students. We were dancers, but we were also expected to be independent leaders in the community, and for that I am forever grateful. Because of that, I was somewhat ready for the real world.

Are we in fear that we will lose the best years of our lives to a goal that won’t flesh?
Do we detest time?
Have we forgotten we truly are in control?
Are we victims of the system? Are we victimizing ourselves because of it?
Are we so busy with debt and paying bills that we forgot we can change (and should) at any time?

It’s possible to be your definition of free. Knead the soil, plant the seeds, and grow your thoughts. I am writing this for that reason!
It has been years since I was able to say “immediately” as a response to anything.
“When can you start?”

Published by Evar After

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