If you are just tuning in or have recently stumbled upon Evar After, thank you for being one of about twelve daily site views that have not come from my personal computer or mobile device! I try really hard not to loiter around here, but it’s challenging to avoid. Why? Because as an “artist,” you gotta be your biggest fan. When I post anything, I have to see it curated; I force myself to accept the standing ideas in a chronological succession down the scroll bar, no matter how imperfect the words look, how unfinished the ideas feel. This is my visual gallery, my digital memoir, and I will always nit pick. I’ll edit a post (even if it’s a spread of two photos) at least five times within a following hour, till things feel right. I wish I could say that being authentic meant saying what I wanted to say right in the moment and leaving it at that forever. But let’s be real, in today’s age, authenticity looks different. We are constantly re-imagining and re-inventing who we are, how “they” see us, how we then see ourselves. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, because for the first time in history technology can keep up! Whether it’s with our fleeting moments, split decisions, or strokes of brilliance (unfortunately, technology can keep up with our strokes of stupidity too; a double edged sword). My authenticity lies in sharing this truth with you. And that’s why I love the blogging platform (I’ve been Facebook free for a month today. I know right, I’m such a revolutionary! Like, how can she do that. Just kidding, it’s not a big deal. It’s improved my productivity on a massive scale though, if you’re curious). With a blog, I don’t find myself striving to meet the intellectual expectations I’ve only created for myself, or embarrassed to utilize the delete/edit button when I want to rethink that idiotic thing I said on a whim that I didn’t have facts to back up. There are no social reminders of how my life could be going “better,” and most importantly no cat videos. I can peacefully transform my page in real time, as my mind, understandings, and perspectives shift and fluctuate. And they DO shift and fluctuate. A lot. People change! Social media is a helpful tool with the right intentions. Am I getting off subject?
So yeah, I used to get stoked about my views until I realized they were exactly that, MY views. If you are just tuning in, I am so excited to have you, my view.
If you have been following already, “allow me to reintroduce myself” (corny comments are always fair game here, my friends know me as the joke-telling husky dog meme on the internet, if that provides you any context to my personality). YOU are a family member or friend who I have shared this manifestation with personally, and for that fact you are very special to me. I summoned you here, for I know you will join with me in the celebration of the tides of life, or perhaps you will applaud my wit. If I’m lucky, you will laugh, or stare blankly, or get angry at me, or maybe tell me that what I said was dumb as f*%#! And I will resist you when I feel my voice is strong, but sometimes I’ll reflect and end up with “yeah you were right.” Your critique will steer me towards further education and deeper self-discoveries. I am grateful for that.
It took me four years to get things rolling. I kept this domain dormant until the timing felt calculated. I was also being lazy, and insecure towards my abilities. I learn time and time again that there is never a “good” time to start; light a fire under your butt and get going. I’ve always envisioned for myself, an ever-developing transcript of experiences. This is that vision, and it is clearer than ever today because I just got a brand new pair of glasses; I can finally read road signs, and see scores of sporting events on the television that I don’t care about.
Maybe you’re curious what the whole “Evar After” thing means. Well, Evar After started as a musician’s alias, by a simple merging of letters; “Evar” is a combination of the E from Emily (my first name) and three consecutive letters of my last name, VAR. Originally; it was going to stay at that, EVAR. Obviously that’s awkward. Or maybe it’s just me.
I feel compelled to tell you that I am writing to you while sitting on an incredibly turbulent, one-way Delta airlines flight to New York. I sit besides my resting mother, a lovely Argentinian woman, and a crying baby across the aisle. Today, I am moving to New York, to pursue something. But let’s get back to the information you’re really here for, the dirt.
So, this one evening during my sophomore year of college, I was sitting at my desk on the phone with my dad, and we came up with EVAR. The “After” came too perfectly. I really liked the statement. It felt whimsical, but political. It felt personal, but universal. It felt solitary, yet collaborative. It felt original, but relatable. Fantasy tales, especially the role of women in such tales, fascinates me. “Evar After” crystallized, and the identity was born.