I am a dancer. I am a dancer with a curiosity stronger than reason. I am a dancer who intentionally transforms; I dress myself with costumes and stereotypes and generalizations, in an effort to call attention to them, to flip, destroy, recreate, understand, reflect on, and analyze who I am with whom I am. I am a stubborn human being, because I cannot stray from what burns in my heart.

If when I dance, my smile suggests to you that I do not take this seriously, consider strategy; that the mask of a straight face is far more acceptable than an honest smile.
Perhaps you feel that a smile is disrespect. Consider how often you wish a woman would just smile, and then consider all the times when she does and you realize you would rather that she didn’t.
If when I dance, my smile suggests that I am making a joke of you, consider I may be unbearably inspired by watching your craft. Consider the reality that I am honored to have any opportunity to exchange my process with yours.
If when I dance, my smile suggests to you that I am over confident, consider compensation; I am new, I am self conscious, I am nervous, I am most likely making a fool of myself. I had to coach my thoughts all day to be here in this circle, and the only way to cope with the idea of imminent failure is to enjoy the moment.
If when I dance, my lack of execution suggests to you that I do not study our language; consider the fact that I have a history in my body that you have yet to know. My intention will always be to acknowledge yours.

Tell her to have fun… but not that kind of fun.

Tell her to be free… but not that kind of free.

Tell her to say it… just not like that.

Tell her to embrace femininity, counter assumptions, confront the shame..
Then keep your head down when she does.

I speak as a woman because I am a woman. If I attempted to speak the perspective of a man, I would fail to communicate it properly. I do not wake up with male genitals in the morning. We are undeniably different, and that’s okay. There is human under all of this, but we need to acknowledge each other to find it. I am not interested in mimicking what is not mine, solely because it has always been done that way.

For this, am I contemptuous?
There’s a dance somewhere in the echo of contradictions.
Exploring the matrix…

Published by Evar After

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